There seems to be a misunderstanding of the littles, middles, princesses, princes, young royals, and even liddles. Some say they are part of the bdsm community; some say they are not. Some view them as the cute and snuggly; some view their dynamic as borderline pedophilia. Haters gonna hate, amirite?

Did you know that not all littles are submissive? Mind blown! Yes, there are Dominant littles. Below, I have given examples and definitions of some of the terms one may find themselves coming across when in or adjacent to this lifestyle. These terms are not all inclusive, as each person can define themselves as they wish. These are just generalized definitions to get a better understanding.

Little- a person of any gender that exhibits child like behavior, specifically around age 2 to 7. They can either get into, “little space” or they could always be a little, and get into “big space” to do things like go to work, pay bills, etc, living the rest of the time as a little.

Liddle- a term to describe a little thats just a bit older. Age 8 to about 11. They enjoy more age appropriate activities to that age group.

Middle- Pre-teen to about 16. They are the ones whom live a life with all the ups and downs of teen “angst”. This is where the majority of bratty behavior is displayed. Ahh, cellphones, tiktok dances, moodswings, sassy backtalk… and no, not all middles are that way. Some are gearing up for adulthood and learning responsibility.

Brats. Id be doing a disservice if I didn’t mention Brats. Brats are just that. Brats. A brat is in an authority exchange dynamic with a caregiver of some type. Which one is in charge? Ill allow you, the reader to determine that for yourself.

Princes – young boys who are treated as royalty

Princesses – young girls who are treated as royalty

Young Royals – the gender neutral term for the above definitions to be radically inclusive.

Caregiver- the adult standing side of the dynamic. Goes by many terms. Daddy, Mommy, Auntie, King, Advisor, the list goes on. But I digress. We are speaking of the littles side of things here.

For the examples, I will use the gender neutral term of young royals. I wish everyone to be included.

Examples of possible Dynamics
This list is not all inclusive of every style of dynamic. These are just generalized definitions for a better beginning of understanding.

Young Royal – submissive.
This is the person that ultimately wants to be good, follow the rules, get rewarded, and be praised. They will push up against the rules to see just how far they stretch, and to make sure their Dominant type is watching. Yes, they will sometimes overstep. This is why they need a reminder.

An example of a submissive young royal would be Advisor/young royal. Someone to tell them what to do, and be held accountable.

Young Royal – Dominant
This is the person who doesnt follow the rules because they make the rules. If their caregiver tells them no, they may stomp on a foot, pull hair, slap, etc. These people are the ones in control. Example. They dont want 6 strawberries; they want THOSE 6 strawberries, cut in perfect halves, on the left side of the castle shaped plate, with 3 different chocolate dances on the right to be dipped into. And by God, they’ll have it or else!

An example of a Dominant young royal would be
Young Royal \ servant. This works well with masochistic service oriented people. The Young Royal demands , the servant delivers.

There are also multi little dynamics. Example.
Middle/little. Does anyone remember how when Mom left and our older sibling was in charge? Remember how the older sibling bossed us around and made us do all the chores and threaten to beat us if we didnt? Ta-da! That’s this sort of dynamic.

Also, we can reverse this to Little/middle. This is when the younger of the two, controls the power through, crying to Mom, saying you hit them, fear tactics, youthful manipulation, etc. The little has the control here.

There are also many other dynamics involving Dominant or submissive pets, but that’s for another time.

I know I have barely scratched the surface on this very interesting set of personalities and dynamics. Hopefully you continue your education and seek out people to talk with and learn from..

So, whatever they are, they are definitely to stay.

Now go cover someone in stickers, tie a sheet around your shoulders and be the superhero you are you pretty little princess you.

The post Littles, Middles, and Bigs, oh my! appeared first on Free the Kink.

Impact play is by far one of my favorite kinks and the most common in my daily  life. I am committed to turning anything into an impact tool. In this first section, we will discuss the basics before impact play. We will also discuss Prep and headspace, spankings, flogging, whipping, caning and tips to avoid leather butt. 

First things first. A common knowledge of the human body is critical and if you  don’t take the time to do your research, you should not be practicing impact play.  Just like bondage, there are areas of the body that if struck could cause serious  injury or death, so do your homework. I do not subscribe to “safe play” of any  kind, but a lack of knowledge puts your bottom in unnecessary and careless  danger. 

Secondly, bottoms, you have a responsibility to ensure that the Top you are  entrusting yourself to displays the knowledge to sufficiently execute proper  impact play. If you are a bottom and a Top who are learning this journey for the  first time, then you both should be learning together to avoid costly mistakes. 

Safewords and safe signals are an individual dynamic issue. However, in my  personal opinion, if you are with play partners or people who do not know you  and your physical reactions well, have something in place. 

If limits apply to the scenario, then they need to be thoroughly discussed and  expressly agreed upon prior to any play of any kind. Limits are like safewords and  are dynamic dependent. Again, in my opinion, with play partners or people who  do not know you and your physical reactions well, have something in place. 

Understanding the implements of your chosen craft are very important and will  be something the Top will have to explore to find their favorites. I personally love whips more than floggers, but I adore canes above all others. I personally do not  like wood implements, so you see everyone is different and it takes homework  and practice. Just don’t be afraid to branch out and try new things. 

Practice first, play later. When playing with an implement for the first time, don’t  just come out of the box swinging. Use things like pillows to take some practice 

swats, get a good feeling for the implement. The weight, how it handles, how  hard does it come down and so forth. Sometimes a melon is a great way to test a  new implement. These are questions you, as a Top, need to know before you use  it on your bottom. In my personal opinion, I feel you should be willing to test an  impact tool on yourself as well. You should have some idea of what the tool feels  like, so that you can understand how to use it better. 

This list is by no means comprehensive, it is just scratching the surface. But at the  very least, these things need to be taken seriously before you venture into any  type of serious impact play. 

What are some of the things you do before you use impact play in your scene? 

 Let’s talk about prep

I am a big believer in preparation before a good impact session. I like to bring my  bottom into a certain headspace. Usually I enjoy bringing her to at least one  orgasm, so she is relaxed and euphoric. I like to talk a lot so I can get her mind  thinking. The scene I am trying to create will dictate what I say and how I say it.  Tone is just as important as the words themselves. 

Another thing that I like doing is massaging my bottom’s globes (the round fatty  part of the butt), getting her muscles nice and relaxed. I like to use oils vs lotions during a massage. 

Something a friend recently taught me was to apply heat to the butt as part of the  prep process. Heat will help blood flow and gives the skin more elasticity. Heat application, such as a heating pad, can help the bottom relax and loosens the  tissue around the heated area. The best part of heat in my opinion, is how it  makes such a significant increase in the bruises that are left behind. It really  intensifies the marks.

Timing in between strikes and intensity of the impact is also a critical component  of an impact session. Coming out of the gate swinging at full scale can sometimes  reduce the length of time a session can last. Starting off slow and easy, taking  small little breaks to rub and massage. Maybe even heating the area back up from  time to time can all have a positive outcome to the session. Only using full force  (this is dynamic specific) for the last 10-15 minutes of the session is also recommended. 

What are some things you do for Prep prior to impact play? 

Implements (My Personal Favorite) 

Whips – I enjoy using whips, only second to my canes. My favorite aspect of the  whip is the sound it makes as it cracks off the butt of my bottom. I focus more on  delivering a stingy sensation during my whip play. The sting sensation is felt  primarily on the surface of the skin and leaves very beautiful marks. I enjoy the  snapping, because it is common to split the skin. (Not for the faint of heart or  inexperienced). However, the whip is capable of delivering a serious thud if that’s your thing. It’s all in the techniques you use. Some common techniques are overhand, circus crack or reverse snap. 

Canes – My absolute favorite impact tool. First, you have to decide what type of  material you will use natural or synthetic. Some natural options are Bamboo,  Rattan and Reed. Natural canes are more difficult to use and care for but are  worth it. I personally like Bamboo. It does however require good maintenance because if it dries out, it will crack, and they are not cheap. Some good synthetic options are Fiberglass, Plastic or Carbon Fibre. Plastic is a great choice for beginners, since it does not require much care and is extremely flexible and easy  to control.

Floggers – Floggers are versatile and come in many options for material and style.  There are so many techniques to master, flogging can provide a lot of fun and  new learning experiences for a very long time. For me personally, I am focused on  trying to learn to Dual Wield and ultimately be able to Florentine. 

Avoiding Leather Butt 

What is leather butt? It is a condition that forms from receiving regular, hard spankings over a long period of time. Tends to leave the buttocks leathery from built up scar tissue and desensitized from nerve damage. A couple tips on avoiding this: switch implements often, use lotions and oils on the butt, or soak in a warm bath. These methods will help recuperate the cells in the rump. However, the only real way to avoid this is to take longer breaks in between impacting areas that begin to lose sensation or start to need much harder impacts to give care to those areas. You can still enjoy impact during this time, just utilize other areas  such as thighs, calves or feet.  

Final thoughts

 No matter what techniques you are using or what implement you prefer, the  most important things are these. Take time to learn your implements and know  the human body so you can deliver your strikes without hitting the no-go zones.  Keep an open mind and open communication. Study, learn, and research. I love to  impact but I am just scratching the surface. It is a journey and as long as you don’t  ever give up learning and experimenting, you can enjoy impact as a lifelong  pleasure, no matter what side of the slash you’re on.

The post Impact Play appeared first on Free the Kink.

This has driven many people with lifelong or recently discovered Fetish desires, to suppress, hide, or deny the truth of this critically important dimension of their personality. Our culture offers very few safe places for someone to discuss and learn about how to safely explore this aspect of their desire, or get reliable sex advice. The culture at large would like you to simply…not be that way!  This is similar to the inane thinking about gays and lesbians, before they finally organized and fought for their civil rights to be who they were sexually, starting just 60 years ago. Fetish Sexuality is just beginning this journey to be accepted, honored, respected “normalized”!

Your sexual desire, whatever it looks like, no matter how dark, perverse or taboo, is an authentic and integral part of who you are. It is core to your nature. It is core to your psyche, and ultimately your physical, emotional and spiritual health. It is your truth! Your sexual desires, from sacred to profane, deserve to be honored, encouraged, understood, and safely expressed. And this expression is meant to occur in a safe, conscious, responsible manner with another consenting and consciously engaged adult partner.

Fetish, which can include kink, D/s, BDSM and a wide array of alternative sexuality, is a valid sexual orientation, similar to gay or lesbian orientation. It is innate, inherent, and it does not go away.  

It is yours for life. You cannot disown it. It does not need to be fixed or extracted, though many push it down into shadow, where it may leak out in disturbing, risky, dangerous or compulsive behaviors. Human Eros, of every sort,  is simply irrepressible!

Your sexual truth, like any other aspect of who you authentically are, will not damage you nor those you consciously engage with.

What is damaging and traumatic are the outdated cultural, moral, social, political, legal and religious codes that are intended to make us feel afraid, ashamed, immoral, criminal, pathological, sick, disgusting or dangerous about our sexuality. 

These traumas, shamings and harsh internalized moral judgments inflicted on us as we grew up, have gotten tangled up with our natural sexual desires.  This has left many people frozen, and unable to express their innate desires joyfully, without simultaneously feeling guilty, ashamed or afraid of  their own desires. 

This can leave them feeling stuck psychologically, emotionally and sexually, shut down or disconnected.

The key to coming to terms with who we are in the world of kink is to learn how to express and experience our desires safely, honorably and consciously, in a way that is in integrity with the agreements we make with ourselves and others, and that encompass our core values. 

We must also compassionately examine and resolve the unconscious but powerful negative cultural messages we’ve internalized about our sexuality and ourselves. That is why this is both an empowering and healing journey.

The post Becoming the New Norm appeared first on Free the Kink.

If there’s nothing that gets you going more than the adulation of your partner’s cock, cock worship might just be your thing.

What is cock worship?
It’s about an over abundance of attention and affection shown to a cock, real or otherwise. Many even have celebrations or rituals around this. Cock worship is so much more than just some epic handy or blow job. It’s about the adoration, the lavishing of focus the cock is shown and the empowerment the cock itself has.

The worship of cock is timeless, many ancient cultures revered and even erected statues in its honor. There is even some debate about the resemblance in even some modern day structures. From the ancient to the modern, the cock has long been a preoccupation.

Cock worship can incorporate so many aspects from the sensual to the spiritual. It can also be full of celebration, ceremony and ritual. The act may be a demonstration of submission or Domination or have a degradation or humiliation component to it. The only object really is to bestow so much attention and pleasure that it builds and creates a mind blowing experience for the receiver.

Here are a few tips to get you started along the way of creating your ultimate cock worshipping session,

Set the scene
Create an inviting, sensual environment. Make sure it has the right ambiance. If you planned any kind of ritual or ceromony, you’ll definitely want to make sure everything is ready before hand. Nothing like having to run and back and forth for items to kill the mood. If you’re struggling for a few ideas on some things that might help set the mood, try some of these:

-silk sheets
-blindfold
-candles
-rose petals
-massage oils
-lubes
-toys

The possibilities are endless, they’re only limited by your imagination in ways you can praise cock.

Positions and The Visual Aspect
What is the right position? The truth is there is no wrong position, it is usually preferable that at least the cock is comfortable, otherwise it may not be as enjoyable and that’s not what we’re going for here. However having the receiver lying down on their back propped up can be a comfortable position and has a great added visual aspect to it as well. There can be a real visual component to cock worship. This position allows for the one receiving the worship to watch all that attention being lavished on them.

Be Connected
Be in the moment and connect with your partner and their body. Focus on your partner, how much you want to excite them and how excited it makes you. Get into it and stay in the moment. Take in your partner’s unique taste and smell. Make eye contact, as you touch them. Be genuine in your words and excitement.

Take Your Time
This is not about trying to get your partner off, it’s about taking the time to worship every inch of them. Lick, rub, praise and appreciate them tip to bottom.

Vocalize It
Use your words. Describe how good they look and how good they feel in your hands. Tell them how excited it makes you to be in their cock’s presence. Ask them what feels good and what they want. Most of all, be real.

Incorporate Your Hands and Mouth
Use both your hands to slowly to rub and massage up and down their member. Save the rapid action for another time and instead work the cock with slow, deep massaging motions, starting at the tip and working down the shaft. Massage oils can also make this experience more pleasurable. Don’t forget to get your mouth involved in the massaging action as well. Just like the hands, focus on taking them slowly and deeply in your mouth. You can use hands and mouth in tandem when worshipping to increase the amount of attention you’re showing to their cock.

Cock worship can be erotic and intense for both involved. Just remember this one of those things that’s about the journey, not the destination.

Enjoy!

The post Worship the D appeared first on Free the Kink.

Okay then…First, the basics.

Masturbation is when an individual stimulates their genitals for sexual pleasure, which may or may not lead to orgasm. Masturbation is common among men and women of all ages and plays a role in one’s healthy sexual development.

People masturbate for many reasons, which includes pleasure, enjoyment, fun, and tension release. Some individuals masturbate alone, while others masturbate with a partner or partners.

Of course, you can find many myths about the “dangers” regarding masturbation. Even though many of these myths have been debunked several times, they seem to keep resurfacing time and time again.

Thing is that these falsehoods about masturbation are not backed up by science in any way, shape or form. There is often no scientific evidence to show that masturbation causes any of the adverse effects suggested.

So, seeing that this is an educational format…Masturbation will not cause:

• blindness
• hairy palms
• impotence later in life
• erectile dysfunction
• penis shrinkage
• penis curvature
• low sperm count
• infertility
• mental illness
• physical weakness
• damages kidneys and causes kidney failure or kidney pain.

Some couples also worry that their relationship must be unsatisfying if either one of them masturbates…This is also a myth as chances are that they were masturbating long before they first met anyhow.

In fact, most men and women continue to masturbate either alone or together when they are in a relationship or married, and many find it an enjoyable part of their relationship.

Masturbating increases blood flow throughout your body and releases those feel good brain chemicals called endorphins and while the male species are more likely to talk about blowing off steam by masturbating, research suggests it is a stress reliever for all sexes.

“So Matthias, now that I know I’m not going to go blind, I can crank it or rub one out with willful abandon, right?”

Whoa…Slow down there One-Eyed Willy…

As I mentioned earlier, masturbation is harmless…However, some may experience chafing or tender skin if they are too rough, but this will usually heal in a few days.

Furthermore, if men frequently masturbate within a short space of time, they may experience a slight swelling of the penis called an edema…Swelling that occurs when too much fluid becomes trapped in the tissues of the body, particularly the skin but also usually disappears within a couple of days.

Before we continue, a disclaimer…

Although I may have worked in the mental health field, let me just point out that I am not a licensed therapist, nor am I a medical researcher.

The following information was gleamed from professional therapists, the Kinsey Institute, the American Medical Association and Biju International (Formally the British Journal of Urology).

Other potential side effects include:

Guilt

Some people who worry that masturbation conflicts with their religious, spiritual, or cultural beliefs may indeed experience feelings of guilt. However, masturbation is not immoral or wrong, and self-pleasure is not shameful.

Discussing your feelings of guilt with a friend, healthcare professional, or therapist that specializes in sexual health might help a person to move past feelings of guilt or shame that they connect with masturbation.

Decreased Sexual Sensitivity

In line with the thought that having too much is not necessarily a good thing, aggressive or excessive masturbation techniques may lead to reduced sexual sensitivity.

If men have an aggressive masturbation method that involves too tight a grip on their penis, they can experience decreased sensation. A man can resolve this over time with a change of technique.

Enhanced stimulation, such as using a vibrator, fleshlight or the like, may increase arousal and overall sexual function in both men and women.

Women who use a vibrator have reported improved sexual function and lubrication, while men experienced an improvement in erectile function.

Be advised that the jury is still out on the following…

Prostate Cancer

Does masturbation increase or decrease the risk for prostate cancer?

My non-professional opinion?

*shrug* “I dunno.”

Researchers need to conduct more studies before they can reach a conclusion.

A study back in 2003 demonstrated that men who ejaculated more than five times each week during their 20s were one third less likely to develop aggressive prostate cancer than those who ejaculated less often.

Researchers speculate that the reduced risk was because frequent ejaculation may prevent the build-up of cancer-causing agents in the prostate gland.

Another study regarding frequent ejaculation lowering the risk of prostate cancer was discovered in 2016 where researchers found that men who ejaculated 21 times per month or more had a reduced risk of developing prostate cancer.

Why such a specific number? Again, my answer is “shrug”.

However, in contrast, a study in 2008 found that frequent sexual activity during a man’s 20s and 30s increased his risk of prostate cancer, especially if he masturbated regularly.

Like I said earlier, more research is needed.

Moving forward…

There have been cases where individuals masturbate more than they desire (No, really. It’s true!) which may actually…

• cause them to miss work, school, or important social events
• interrupt a person’s daily functioning
• affect their responsibilities and relationships
• serve as an escape from relationship issues or substitute for real-life experiences

Someone who thinks they might be adversely impacted by their masturbation practice should speak with a healthcare professional.

A doctor or counselor may suggest talk therapy to determine ways that they could manage their sexual behavior.

Consulting a sex therapist may also help with coping strategies for excessive masturbation.

What Else Do We Know?

Dr. Judi Chervenak, a gynecologist at Montefiore Medical Center in New York City, has stated that masturbation can relieve postmenopausal sexual issues. According to Dr. Chervenak, the vagina can actually narrow, which can make intercourse and vaginal exams more painful. But masturbation, especially with a water-based lubricant, can help prevent narrowing, boost the blood flow, relieve some tissue and moisture problems, and increase sexual desire.

Masturbation also helps you figure out what you like sexually…Where do you want to be touched? How much pressure feels good? How fast or how slow? Learning how to have orgasms on your own can make it easier to have one with a partner, because you can tell or show them what feels good.

And when you are comfortable with sex, your body, and talking to your partner, you are more likely to feel comfortable protecting yourself against STDs and unintended pregnancy.

So in conclusion…

Masturbation in itself is not unhealthy or bad for you at all. Masturbation can actually be good for your health, both mentally and physically. And it is pretty much the safest sex out there.

So, break out the vibrators, warm up that lube, poach that egg, take that self guided tour, shuck the corn, orbit Venus, scratch Yoda behind the ear (Yep, that is also a term) grab the cucumber, DYI, pet the cat, celebrate palm Sunday and be sure to do your part in celebrating National Masturbation Month!

Happy endings to all and to all a damned good time!

The post Masturbation appeared first on Free the Kink.

Okay, Y/y’all…let’s go ahead and get the educational stuff out of the way, shall we? Odaxelagnia is a Paraphilia involving sexual arousal through biting or being bitten. Odaxelagnia is considered by many to be a mild form of Sadism. In her Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices, Dr. Brenda Lovew included a LONG entry on sexual biting and reported that “biting is used by some to sexually excite their partner. It is done on the neck, ears, lips, nipples, back, buttocks, genitals, inner thighs, etc. The pressure used depends on their partner’s pain tolerance”. She also notes that sexual biting is one of the “easiest and most accepted methods” in sexual sadism and sexual masochism. She also claims that sexual biting produces an “increased sensation while bringing some individuals who are emotionally stressed out of their physical numbness, back in touch with their bodies.”

The Kama Sutra goes so far as to name all the different kinds of sexual bites and scratches, including those focused on the breasts and nipples. Eight kinds of bites are described in the chapter ‘On Biting, and the Means to be Employed with Regard to Women of Different Countries’ These are (1) the hidden bite, (2) the swollen bite, (3) the point, (4) the line of points, (5) the coral and the jewel, (6) the line of jewels, (7) the broken cloud, and (8) the biting of the boar. this girl researches biting because it has long been one of her very favorite things!

For many of U/us there aren’t many things as sexy as being nibbled or bitten by O/our partner(s)!!! Nibbling can feel great everywhere: nipples, breasts, arms,
ears, neck, feet, and thighs to name a few.

If Y/you want to bite a little harder, remember…unless T/they can handle the pain, stick to the meaty areas! The pain might be too intense if you chomp down hard on a bony area or if you miss and only bite the sensitive top layer of skin. Aim for the mucsular, meaty parts of the body. Some enjoy gentle bites and/or nibbles on the bony body parts such as fingers, shoulder blades and knees (OMMFG YESSSSS!!!).

For some the thighs are too sensitive and the genitals are an absolute NO because both of those areas are too sensitive and the pain just doesn’t transfer to pleasure for T/them; it just freaking hurts! For O/others, those areas are definitely on the menu!

One of the sexiest moves is when Y/you bite T/them on the back of the neck. This is what lions and other large mammals do to their mates in the wild to hold them still as they mate and there is nothing so sexy and empowering as feeling Y/your partner go weak and limp in Y/your arms, submitting with a sigh, growl or purr as Y/you sink your teeth perfectly into T/their upper shoulder/neck, completely making them Y/yours.

Biting is something that both sides of the slash enjoy. A good reward/incentive for a submissive is being able to sink their teeth into their Dom/mes! For Dom/mes it can serve as a reminder of who Their submissives belong to and who’s in control. It can also be used to put a submissive in the right headspace QUICKLY.

Biting can be as Primal and/or Sensual as Y/you choose it to be. A well timed, well placed bite can transform any moment or scene! Do some Research as well as talk about it with Y/your partner(s) and learn T/their bodies to avoid serious injuries. Once Y/you are confident and comfortable, dive in TEETH FIRST, Y/y’all!

~His Duchess

The post “Just. Like. That.” appeared first on Free the Kink.

And THAT was one of many almighty Mind Fuks, y’all. Agony, ecstasy or both. A Mind Fuk is when a Top/Dominant messes with a submissive’s mind by allowing the submissive to believe something is going to or will happen. Then the Top/Dominant “flips the script” when the activity or scene either does not occur at all or doesn’t play out the way the submissive expects it to. Hence the name “Mind Fuk. It begins with a thought; such as when a submissive messes up there will be consequences. The submissive’s imagination and guilty conscience are the engine that gets the train moving. NOTE: Most of us have experienced something similar before W/we knew it was an actual kink. Like anything with BDSM, Mind Fuks can play out in different ways with different people.

Mind Fuks are only successful when there’s a certain amount of trust and routine behavior established. Tops/Dominants who are consistent in their behavior and expectations teach their submissives they can expect a specific reaction/response when they say or do something. A submissive’s active imagination also makes Mind Fuks powerful and effective. this girl hasn’t met a submissive yet whose mind shuts down easily or stops spinning. An image of the Energizer Bunny comes to mind lol. Some of the most effective Mind Fuks require very little effort on the part of the Dominants; simply a willingness to allow a submissive to continue on their own train of thought. The appeal of O/our Thing for many submissives is the possibility of a quieted mind when their Top/Dominant takes over. The duration of a Mind Fuk varies depending on the specific situation, the P/people involved and how effective it is. Mind Fuks are quite common in Dynamics with sadists and masochists. As with EVERYTHING in O/our Thing, Mind Fuks are not for E/everyone and E/everyone must be able to manage the emotions involved with little or no issues regarding trust, self esteem, self confidence, etc. Mind Fuks in any capacity are Hard Limits for many because of the things listed above and any psychological trauma the submissive and/or Dominant has been through. Whether or not Mind Fuks are possible is definitely something that should be addressed during Vetting. Be cautious with Mind Fuks. They can be devastating if not done properly. The more Y/you trust and care for each O/other, the better the outcome. Apply ALL of The Pillars, y’all. Research and communicate always. The FLYGOD always does a “Debriefing” with check-ins following a Mind Fuk to ensure that all is well. He is attentive and observant; more so than with other scenes. And that gives this girl peace of mind after a Mind Fu*k. Until next time, y’all.

~His Duchess

The post “Wait…WHAT?!” appeared first on Free the Kink.

HER.
“he thinks he’s slick; begging for forgiveness won’t spare him!” She thought to herself. She had done her research. She made sure that the toy had done his as well. The little hints and hiccups all led to this moment. As the toy dropped to his knees, She took the opportunity to survey the setup. Scissors, gauze, ice in bucket, knee hi stockings, leather gloves…the stage was meticulously set. It’s Go Time, Regina! After She commanded the toy to stand up and put his hands behind his head She saw him trying to inhale her scent. he was looking at her from her shoes to Her blouse. She took a step toward the toy. “Look at me. Today’s Lesson is…be careful what you wish for, toy.” And then….she took a deep breath and as she slowly exhaled she grabbed his manhood in her hand and pulled on it slowly. the toy winced in pain…then he gasped as She watched his toes curl. “Please teach this toy, Regina.” She breathed in, exhaled, then pulled again. The wince and gasp was longer this time, and a moan escaped his lips as well. As the toy stiffened then relaxed; She smiled. So far so good. Time to bind the toy’s balls with the knee highs.

Whewwwww…..Walk it off, Y/y’all! this girl is tackling a somewhat sensitive topic today. Stay with her…it has some information to expand Y/your knowledge and understanding of Kink. Breathe, G/gentlemen lol. The term CBT is the acronym for Cock and Ball Torture. The mere thought of CBT will give M/men either an instant erection or compel T/them to instinctively grab T/themselves, squirm and yell, “Fuck that!!!” while E/everyone else may be thinking, “Wow!” Well, if Y/you’re reading this and fall on either end of that spectrum or even somewhere in between, keep reading, F/fam lol. So, what’s the appeal of CBT, anyway? There are many reasons why people are drawn to it. It speaks to both Sadists and masochists and that’s partially due to the agony of the pain as well as the exhilaration from the agony. The fact that it is the most sensitive part of the body just makes playing around with it even more exciting. With such a wide range of tools available now, CBT can also be endured alone for the ultimate in sadomasochistic bliss.

Still here? Hang in there!

Confused/Curious about Cock and Ball Torture? A few things to remember…

1. CBT can free your inner masochist! The penis and surrounding area is full of sensitive nerve endings that are just begging to be played with. Time for some Scientific Stuff lol. Stimulating those nerve endings through CBT causes waves of endorphins (the body’s natural painkiller) to be released. The effect is similar to that of being under the influence and the result is an incredibly intense “natural high.” In some cases it can actually lead to an altered and euphoric state of consciousness.
2. Increased blood flow to the genitals causes them to become engorged. As a result, CBT is often processed as pleasure rather than pain. The body releases adrenaline and the genitals become further enlarged, greatly intensifying the experience. Normally so readily associated with pleasure, the cock and balls have now become a target for punishment and pain. This confuses the body and thus a new pleasure/pain association is discovered.
3. CBT can create another emotional connection with your partner. Not only is it extremely satisfying to please your playmate but the level of trust between you will become stronger.

Be Safe!!!

The biggest concern when it comes to CBT is circulation. Increased pressure means that there is a danger of cutting off circulation completely. It is extremely important to watch out for symptoms such as a loss in sensation, swelling or a loss of color. Common injuries as a result of CBT include abrasions, bruises and small cuts. In time these will heal, but it is a good idea to treat with an ice pack to reduce the swelling and apply some antiseptic cream to cuts to avoid infection. It’s quite normal to experience a dull and painful ache in the testicles after CBT, or as we like to call it “blue balls.” It might last for a prolonged period of time after your play has ended. If the pain persists or you notice any abnormalities including swelling or blood spots underneath the skin, please see a doctor as soon as possible. NOTE: There is another article by Matthias Black about Doctors and kink Y/y’all should check out if Y/you haven’t already.

Make sure you always play SAFE and stop if you’re unsure!

Some Do’s and Don’ts regarding CBT are…

DO Trim pubic hair for a clear view and to avoid snagging.

DO Alleviate pressure every 20-30 minutes to restore circulation fully.

DO Avoid genital bindings that cannot be easily untied/removed.

DO Keep ‘quick release’ tools like EMT scissors and cock ring cutters readily available.

DO Be gentle with piercings.

DO Stop immediately if you notice a loss of sensation, swelling, numbness or loss of colour

DO Discuss boundaries and a safe word beforehand.

DO Go slowly and gradually increase intensity while monitoring reactions.

DO Stop immediately if the pain starts to spread to other areas.

DO Avoid anything that will seriously wrench or twist the genitals.

DON’T Leave clamps on for long periods of time.

DON’T Leave CBT devices/weights on for prolonged periods or through the night.

DON’T Tie the balls to anything else because any sudden knee-jerk reaction could result in serious damage!

DON’T Bind the penis/scrotum too tightly – you don’t want to cut off circulation.

DON’T Insert anything into the urethra without adequate lubrication and sterilization.

DON’T Squeeze the penis too hard, it could damage the erectile tissue.

DON’T Use sharp, hard hits.

DON’T Let go of weights suddenly; lower them down gradually and gently.

Still here? It’s almost over so hang in there!

CBT Play often involves using weights, bondage, impact or the hands…a little flick anywhere in that area can cause a LOT of pain, agony and/or pleasure. As with anything else W/we do in O/our Thing, research, communication, preparation and safety are CRUCIAL!!! Cannot stress that enough!!! There are so many ways in which you can reach your CBT goals and most will be unique and specific to Y/you and Y/yours. So remember THIS…W/we must always DIG IN before W/we dive in, Y/y’all. And that means do more research than just watching CBT porn. Seriously.

Most importantly, take it easy. Process everything that happened individually and with each other. Enjoy some much needed healing time so that Y/you’re ready for a repeat performance in no time!

Thanks for hanging in there, Y/y’all! Hopefully it was worth it! And while it’s perfectly fine to not be a fan of CBT, it’s never okay to judge the ones who are.

Until next time, Y/y’all.

~His Duchess

The post “(C)hallenging (B)ut (T)hrilling” appeared first on Free the Kink.

In the midst of all of this, should you be bringing up the fact that you are kinky? Many kinksters avoid coming out to their healthcare providers, from physicians to therapists, because they either think it is none of their business or they fear judgment.

This can cause some pretty serious consequences.

Kinky sex has unique needs when it comes to protecting our physical and mental health. Additionally, doctors may not understand consensual injuries, such as bruises or marks and believe that we are being harmed.

*Remind me to tell you about the first time my s-type’s general practitioner found the bruises on her back resulting from an intense flogging scene…Law enforcement was involved.

The stress of being part of a minority sexual community can have negative effects on our mental health if we feel isolated or ashamed of what we enjoy. All of us leads us to understand why we must find kink inclusive healthcare providers.

Fact: Most Providers Have No Training or Knowledge of Kink

In most cases physicians, nurses, and even therapists received very little to no training or exposure to kink. The manual that defines mental health disorders, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, removed kink or paraphilia off of their list of disorders in 2013.

If your healthcare provider was trained before this recent update, they may have been trained to think that kink/BDSM is a mental health issue. This can lead to providers believing that their patients are a risk to themselves or others and even cases of reporting them as unfit parents (although the children were completely safe and never exposed to kink).

Because of this, many kinksters are reasonably fearful of talking about their healthcare needs and being outed by someone else. With all of this working against the kink community, how do we go about finding our medical unicorn provider?

Well, for starters…

Look for directories of providers who have kink inclusive training.
The best place to start when looking for kink-friendly providers is the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom’s directory. You can find everything from lawyers to midwives that will not require you to explain your interest in BDSM or kink. If you are a provider, you can add your business to their directory so more kinksters can find you.

Test the waters with providers you already have.
If there is not someone in your area who is on the directory, you may be surprised by what your provider already understands and accepts. You do not need to jump in and tell them everything about your identities and practices. You can start by asking questions to feel things out. Asking things like, do they know anything about kink? What do they think of BDSM…Do they think is healthy and unhealthy in sexuality are good starts.

Their reactions will guide you as to if they are sincerely inclusive and open or not.

Last but not least, if the first two tips do not pan out the way you hoped, remember that finding kink inclusive healthcare is still your right as a patient. Do not feel like you have to settle for a provider that does not understand or appreciate your needs and experience. For kinksters in rural areas, this may be particularly hard, but not impossible.

Be patient and keep looking for kink friendly healthcare providers. With more and more healthcare becoming virtual, options are expanding tenfold.

You and your health are worth it.

The post How to Tell Your Doctor That You Are Kinky appeared first on Free the Kink.

Okay, BREATHE, y’all! Lol. CFNM, the acronym for Clothed Female Naked/Nude Male is a kink for a clothed woman while a nearby male is entirely naked/nude and is often used as part of a Female led scene and/or dynamic. It is important to note that people of any gender identities or gender presentations can participate in CFNM. All that this kink requires is two people in two various states of dress. However, for the sake of simplicity and the name of the kink, this girl will go with the words that fit the acronym. Even the most unkinky folks can agree that there’s something inherently vulnerable about being naked in front of another person. To be naked in more ways than one. In CFNM, being naked and vulnerable, while another person is fully clothed and in charge, only reinforces the concept someone else having power over them.

The sheer simplicity of this kink feeds into people’s love for it as well. The kink is so clear that many people who are into it can pinpoint the exact moment they fell in love with it. Maybe it was their first girlfriend, daydreams about a Teacher/Librarian/other ladies they viewed as authoritative but were too nervous to ever undress them. As a result all of the sex was with him being the only one who ends up naked. Maybe it was someone she imagined being naked, vulnerable and at her mercy.

In addition to being vulnerable, a lot of male submissives/bottoms have said that the kink feels extremely sensual and intimate for them. In most cases where a woman is asking/telling them to get naked, they become nearly breathless in anticipation of the things that may take place in their immediate future. Just the stripping down in itself can become an amazingly kinky experience. Well, this girl assumes Y/y’all have figured out the basics by now. The acting female is fully clothed in whatever clothing works in the moment. The male will end up naked/nude. This is pretty much the basic set-up for any CFNM scene Y/you choose to explore.

Now, however the participants decide to shake things up from here is completely up to T/them. Using only clothing, the experience can be changed even further. Will the woman be wearing a powerful business outfit which will add to the Top/bottom/Dominant/submissive roles? Will the she be wearing lingerie – as a further sexual tease in a situation where the bottom is unable to hide his excitement and/or desire for her? Will the female dominant be wearing her comfortable, everyday clothes to further emphasize the point that she doesn’t think he’s worth dressing up for in a humiliation scene? Hmmm….the possibilities, Y/y’all!!!

You can mess around with the bottom’s “outfit” too. Sure, naked is the basic expectation of CFNM, but even CFNM allows more than just basic nudity! Are you into chastity? A chastity cage can further enforce who is in charge. What about outside of the clothing? Don’t forget that CFNM is usually used as an exciting “part” of a scene – not necessarily the scene itself. This kink can be mixed with any other kink(s) you want to do at the moment, with any aspect of kink Y/you had in mind.
Just plan the clothing accordingly, and Y/you could even turn Y/your regular Wednesday movie night into a light mixture of foreplay with CFNM involved.

Pssst…Please keep in mind that CFNM is not exclusive to those in defined roles on specific sides of the slash, Y/y’all.

Okey dokey…that’s it for now. Let your imagination run amok and keep it safe and sensational, Y’all! Until next time…

~ His Duchess

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