Impact play is by far one of my favorite kinks and the most common in my daily  life. I am committed to turning anything into an impact tool. In this first section, we will discuss the basics before impact play. We will also discuss Prep and headspace, spankings, flogging, whipping, caning and tips to avoid leather butt. 

First things first. A common knowledge of the human body is critical and if you  don’t take the time to do your research, you should not be practicing impact play.  Just like bondage, there are areas of the body that if struck could cause serious  injury or death, so do your homework. I do not subscribe to “safe play” of any  kind, but a lack of knowledge puts your bottom in unnecessary and careless  danger. 

Secondly, bottoms, you have a responsibility to ensure that the Top you are  entrusting yourself to displays the knowledge to sufficiently execute proper  impact play. If you are a bottom and a Top who are learning this journey for the  first time, then you both should be learning together to avoid costly mistakes. 

Safewords and safe signals are an individual dynamic issue. However, in my  personal opinion, if you are with play partners or people who do not know you  and your physical reactions well, have something in place. 

If limits apply to the scenario, then they need to be thoroughly discussed and  expressly agreed upon prior to any play of any kind. Limits are like safewords and  are dynamic dependent. Again, in my opinion, with play partners or people who  do not know you and your physical reactions well, have something in place. 

Understanding the implements of your chosen craft are very important and will  be something the Top will have to explore to find their favorites. I personally love whips more than floggers, but I adore canes above all others. I personally do not  like wood implements, so you see everyone is different and it takes homework  and practice. Just don’t be afraid to branch out and try new things. 

Practice first, play later. When playing with an implement for the first time, don’t  just come out of the box swinging. Use things like pillows to take some practice 

swats, get a good feeling for the implement. The weight, how it handles, how  hard does it come down and so forth. Sometimes a melon is a great way to test a  new implement. These are questions you, as a Top, need to know before you use  it on your bottom. In my personal opinion, I feel you should be willing to test an  impact tool on yourself as well. You should have some idea of what the tool feels  like, so that you can understand how to use it better. 

This list is by no means comprehensive, it is just scratching the surface. But at the  very least, these things need to be taken seriously before you venture into any  type of serious impact play. 

What are some of the things you do before you use impact play in your scene? 

 Let’s talk about prep

I am a big believer in preparation before a good impact session. I like to bring my  bottom into a certain headspace. Usually I enjoy bringing her to at least one  orgasm, so she is relaxed and euphoric. I like to talk a lot so I can get her mind  thinking. The scene I am trying to create will dictate what I say and how I say it.  Tone is just as important as the words themselves. 

Another thing that I like doing is massaging my bottom’s globes (the round fatty  part of the butt), getting her muscles nice and relaxed. I like to use oils vs lotions during a massage. 

Something a friend recently taught me was to apply heat to the butt as part of the  prep process. Heat will help blood flow and gives the skin more elasticity. Heat application, such as a heating pad, can help the bottom relax and loosens the  tissue around the heated area. The best part of heat in my opinion, is how it  makes such a significant increase in the bruises that are left behind. It really  intensifies the marks.

Timing in between strikes and intensity of the impact is also a critical component  of an impact session. Coming out of the gate swinging at full scale can sometimes  reduce the length of time a session can last. Starting off slow and easy, taking  small little breaks to rub and massage. Maybe even heating the area back up from  time to time can all have a positive outcome to the session. Only using full force  (this is dynamic specific) for the last 10-15 minutes of the session is also recommended. 

What are some things you do for Prep prior to impact play? 

Implements (My Personal Favorite) 

Whips – I enjoy using whips, only second to my canes. My favorite aspect of the  whip is the sound it makes as it cracks off the butt of my bottom. I focus more on  delivering a stingy sensation during my whip play. The sting sensation is felt  primarily on the surface of the skin and leaves very beautiful marks. I enjoy the  snapping, because it is common to split the skin. (Not for the faint of heart or  inexperienced). However, the whip is capable of delivering a serious thud if that’s your thing. It’s all in the techniques you use. Some common techniques are overhand, circus crack or reverse snap. 

Canes – My absolute favorite impact tool. First, you have to decide what type of  material you will use natural or synthetic. Some natural options are Bamboo,  Rattan and Reed. Natural canes are more difficult to use and care for but are  worth it. I personally like Bamboo. It does however require good maintenance because if it dries out, it will crack, and they are not cheap. Some good synthetic options are Fiberglass, Plastic or Carbon Fibre. Plastic is a great choice for beginners, since it does not require much care and is extremely flexible and easy  to control.

Floggers – Floggers are versatile and come in many options for material and style.  There are so many techniques to master, flogging can provide a lot of fun and  new learning experiences for a very long time. For me personally, I am focused on  trying to learn to Dual Wield and ultimately be able to Florentine. 

Avoiding Leather Butt 

What is leather butt? It is a condition that forms from receiving regular, hard spankings over a long period of time. Tends to leave the buttocks leathery from built up scar tissue and desensitized from nerve damage. A couple tips on avoiding this: switch implements often, use lotions and oils on the butt, or soak in a warm bath. These methods will help recuperate the cells in the rump. However, the only real way to avoid this is to take longer breaks in between impacting areas that begin to lose sensation or start to need much harder impacts to give care to those areas. You can still enjoy impact during this time, just utilize other areas  such as thighs, calves or feet.  

Final thoughts

 No matter what techniques you are using or what implement you prefer, the  most important things are these. Take time to learn your implements and know  the human body so you can deliver your strikes without hitting the no-go zones.  Keep an open mind and open communication. Study, learn, and research. I love to  impact but I am just scratching the surface. It is a journey and as long as you don’t  ever give up learning and experimenting, you can enjoy impact as a lifelong  pleasure, no matter what side of the slash you’re on.

The post Impact Play appeared first on Free the Kink.

So, with that being said and the millions of other examples that could be shared, is there really anyone who lives a real 24/7 dynamic LS? My answer is a loudly shouted YES…

See living 24/7 is in the striving to live by a set of mutually agreed upon and beneficial protocols. It’s the journey that makes the dynamic special. Always trying to be better for each other and to fulfill the bonds of your agreements to each other. Nowhere in life is perfection expected or even thought of as possible. So why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect in our dynamics? Why do we not give ourselves and our partners the understanding that no one and nothing is perfect? Does that come from a place of trying to prove ourselves to the community? Does it come from a place and desire to be the perfect Dom or sub? I don’t know the why’s, but I do know that putting that kind of pressure on each other will only end in massive disappointment and most likely a doomed dynamic.

So yes, 24/7 exists and all that means is that we live 24 hours a day, 7 days a week trying to be a better version of ourselves for both us and our partner. It means we do our best to live within the confines of our consensually and mutually agreed upon covenants and that we are focused on self and team growth every day.

Enjoy this journey folks and remember that it is not always so easy and/or cut and dry.

The post So, you’re really 24/7? Really? appeared first on Free the Kink.

A Play Party is a social gathering of people with an interest in kink or BDSM that usually happens in a more private setting. Unlike Munches, the gathering will typically have kink activities going on. This may include everything from instructional guides to full-on scenes. Some Play Parties will have open invitations, but many are by invite only. One great way to find Play Parties is at Munches. Meeting people and allowing them to get to know you will be your best bet to get invited to one. Protocols for Play Parties can be and often times are very strict.

Play Party Protocols:

The following are typical Protocols that you will find at most Play Parties. This list is definitely not comprehensive but it’s a good start.

First, at Play Parties you will usually find what’s referred to as a Dungeon Monitor also known as a Dungeon Master or DM. These individuals have absolute final say in everything. Make no mistake, take heed to what they say or you’ll be out. Their job is to make sure the rules are followed. Remember in many places, our communities are tightly connected and a bad reputation can spread fast.

    1.    Never touch someone without explicit permission.
    2.   Never touch someone’s equipment or other personal items without permission.
    3.   Don’t forget your photo ID.
    4.    Never involve yourself in a scene in anyway without invitation.
    5.    Never walk in front of an active scene, through an active scene or disrupt an active scene for any reason.
    6.    Do not be overly loud, chatty or disruptive while scenes are going on in play areas.
    7.    Keep all play in the designated play areas.
    8.    Clean up after yourself. Not just play spaces, but your trash or mess as well. Remember the people that host these and those working the party are often times volunteers.
    9.    Always verify if nudity of any kind is allowed. Don’t assume.
     10.     “No” means “no” and in this situation, you’re not owed any explanations.
     11.    Please remember DMs have a lot going on. They can’t read your mind. Tell them if you need something. Just be respectful.
     12.    DMs are not there to hook you up with people to play with.
     13.    Space and time may be limited, so do not overstay or hog play equipment.
     14.    Please remember that in many circumstances alcohol cannot be present. If that’s the case DO NOT try and sneak it in.
     15.    Most parties have a “no picture” rule. Part of protecting that is the “no cell phone” rule. Unless otherwise instructed DO NOT take out your cell phone for any reason.
     16.    In the absence of a safe word “RED” is the default typically.
     17.    DMs will always side with safety, they don’t care you’ve done something a thousand times. Listen to them anyway.
    18.    Never walk away from a bound bottom. If you need to step away for any reason, you must get someone to watch them first.
    19.    Treat everyone with respect. Doms, Masters, subs, slaves, switches Tops, bottoms, etc.
   20.    If you break a rule, it’s your fault for not verifying the rules beforehand.
   21.    Always show respect to the host(s) by thanking them for the invitation.

There is usually a list of rules provided so make sure you have it and read it. Failure to do so may make this party, your last party.

Have you ever attended a play party? What was your experience like? Do you know of more protocols that might be important for others to know?

The post Let’s Go to a Play Party appeared first on Free the Kink.

This is a question that seems to get asked a lot, but the truth is, a scene is personal. Limits, wants, and desires are different for everyone. However, these are a few helpful tips you can use to design the scene of your fantasies. 

Location, Location, Location

Where will your scene take place? Will it be inside or outside? Will you move your bottom at any point? Will noise be a problem at this location? Knowing your location well and what advantages and disadvantages it offers is very important. These are all things that must be considered and planned out to execute a great scene.

Amenities at a Location

Now that you have a location, think about what it offers and how you can take advantage of it. Items such as furniture, household items, windows, doors, and so on can be utilized to carry out an incredible scene. In addition to what the location provides, think of any items you might want to bring in, if it is not available. 

Goals and Fantasies 

Thinking about your goals and the fantasies you want to fulfill in a scene, in advance, will help you prepare so that you can focus on what’s happening in your scene, not what you need to make it happen. What are your overall goals? What sensations do want to take your bottom through? What are your bottom’s limits? Clearly define out the fantasies that you want achieve so you can properly set the scene.

Setting Up the Scene

Now that you have your location, know what it offers and your goals worked out, it’s time to think about how it will all come together. What implements will you need to achieve those goals? How long will each phase run? Will there be music? Will there be a need for drop cloths? Do you have everything you need for aftercare? Take yourself through the scene and think of anything and everything you might need. Set up your implements, tools, and accessories. Having everything laid out in the best position will allow your scene to continue without rigidness or awkward fumbling around. Don’t forget your safety tools, this is very important and can be the difference between “It didn’t go quite like I expected” and “It went horribly wrong”. 

Getting it Started

How will you begin the scene? How will you help place your bottom in the right mindset? Have a clear plan for warming up and how you will begin with your bottom. Getting your bottom into the correct mindset is critical for them to experience what you want them to. 

What Does the Action Look Like

What does the action look like as you progress through the scene? It’s important that the overall strategy of the session isn’t broken and the fantasy is kept intact. This is where prior planning comes into play. A plan allows you keep the scene on track and help you keep your bottom in the right mindset.

How Does It End

Scenes shouldn’t just abruptly stop. There should be a plan to start bringing them down. Each fantasy is different and requires a different “cool down”. 

Aftercare 

For me, the aftercare is taking care of any wounds that need to be cleaned and handled. But every bottom is different and you need to think about what your bottom needs. Do they need extra care or attention? You must know your bottom, so this can be preplanned and not come off rigid. Snacks and lots of water or Gatorade to help replenish and rehydrate, are always good to have on hand. 

No matter what you are looking to accomplish with your scene, prior planning and thought can help you make it perfect. A well thought out plan, executed properly, is the difference between “just another scene” and “holy shit what just happened”. Understanding these things will help you deliver unforgettable scenes that all involved will remember for some time to come.

The post Creating the Scene appeared first on Free the Kink.

What is ponyplay?

Ponyplay is a type of role play within the pet play family, in which the bottom assumes the role of an equid. The bottom may be referred to as a ponygirl or ponyboy. During pony play, the Trainer/Owner is typically the Top or Dominant. 

Pony play will typically come down to two General Types:

Forced: This is where the bottom is consensually forced to take the role and still considers themselves human. 

Equine Role Play: This is where the bottom fully embraces the role and while in play has no human persona. 

Many times the pony will be given and adopt a different name used during play. 

You absolutely do not need any equipment to take part and enjoy pony play. But if you want to add in equipment, there is a lot you can use to enhance the experience. 

Pony Tack

Like any equine work, you will need Tack. You will need items such as, but definitely not limited to:

– Saddles 

– Bits 

– Crops

– Hoof Boot and Mits 

– Body Suits 

– Bridals Reins 

– Brushes 

– Hobbles 

– Plumes 

– Blinders

And much more to properly set up and care for your pony. Again while not necessary, it can bring a whole new level to the play. However, it can get costly. Take your time and make sure you enjoy this type of play before going all in. 

Some Types of Ponies 

– Work Ponies- Strong ponies that can handle heavy loads of work. 

– Pleasure Ponies- Some ponies are strictly maintained for the pleasure their Owners. 

– Show Ponies- Ponies training for shows, events and dressage.  

– Cart Ponies- Used to pull carts either alone or part of a cart team. 

– Riding Ponies- Carries their Owners and others. 

– Breeding Ponies- Engages in sex with other ponies. (It is not necessarily for actual breeding purposes.)

Pony Training 

Pony training is the staple of the play. It can also be extremely involved. Pony training is one of the most involved of any pet play and any play for that matter. Much of the training takes its traditions from actual horse training and can be very in depth. For that reason ,this is just a few samples of what might be included in pony training:

– Basic training may include things such as leading, tying and grooming. 

– Intermediate training will look at much of the tack. Using reins, bits and crops for example. 

– Gating is training that usually refers to training the pony on walking, trotting, galloping, cantering and longeing. 

– More advanced training may include things such as driving, leg yielding and some will even mix in Veterinarian play. 

No matter what level you’re at with your pony play, if you enjoy it, it is sure to create a strong bond between Owner/pony. 

This is just a basic overview and definitely not a complete guide to Pony Play. Do your homework and learn as much as possible if this is something you enjoy or are interested in.

The post Horsing Around appeared first on Free the Kink.

When it comes to choosing the right toy for anal play, you want to above all, make sure it’s safe. Look for products labeled food-grade or medical grade. Also look for products labeled Phthalate-free. Make sure you do your research and read the reviews on any anal toy you purchase, because unfortunately just because they look and appear to be labeled the same, doesn’t make it so. And yes, read the little book that comes with it too. 

What Are They Made Of:

1. Silicone- These anal toys are said to be some of the more safer, softer toys because silicone is both non-porous and hypoallergenic. Silicone toys can vary in flexibility and firmness and can be a comfortable choice for beginners. When selecting silicone products make sure they are high quality, 100% silicone. This material can be comfortable for more long-term wear. Lubes to Use: If you’re using silicone, skip the silicone based lube, you want to use a nice water based lube instead. Silicone lubes can deteriorate a silicone toy and make it easier for bacteria to form. We definitely don’t want that, especially when it comes to anal toys. 
2. Jelly- A blend of polyvinyl chloride (PVC) and rubber, these malleable toys are known to contain Pthlatates. Jelly toys are also porous and will need immediate cleaning to keep them safe for play. Lubes to Use: Do not use with oil based lubes, opt for a water or silicone lube instead.
3. Glass- Anal toys aren’t just made from any glass, they are made from borosilicate glass(Pyrex). This glass is non-toxic and non-porous. Obviously, glass toys will be hard and rigid and may not be as comfortable for longer use. The ability of glass toys to hold both heat and cold, make it great for sensation play. Always make sure to inspect your glass toys before and after each use for cracks, because although it’s a durable material, it’s not invincible. Lubes to use- Water, oil or silicone, it’s whatever your pleasure with glass anal toys. 
4. Rubber- A soft, porous material, that while flexible doesn’t have near the bend of a silicone or jelly toy. When selecting a rubber based toy, use caution if you have a latex allergy, as some rubber blends may contain latex. Lubes to Use- Avoid oil based lubes here. Water or silicone based lubes are better for rubber.
5. Metal- Smooth and sturdy, metal anal toys can offer a more intense experience. All metals are not created equal, so you’ll want to make sure you select a high quality safe metal, such as surgical steel. Lubes to Use: It’s user’s preference when it comes to choosing a lube for a metal anal toy, since they’re compatible with oil, silicone and water based lubes.

How to Keep Them Clean:

All toys should be inspected during cleaning for any cracks, damage or deterioration to prevent injury and bacterial growth.

For non-porous toys: Heat resistant non-porous anal toys can be boiled for 10 minutes and then cooled to be cleaned. For those with a less heat resistant constitution, clean with a mild antibacterial soap and warm water.

For porous toys: Never use any abrasive substance or material when cleaning a porous surface, as it could damage it and allow bacteria to form more easily. Use a mild antibacterial soap and warm water to clean. Porous materials can not be sanitized. Remember any toy made from a porous material can become a bacteria hangout, so using condoms and immediate proper cleaning is especially important for these types.

Different types of Anal Toys:

-Anal Dilators

-Tail Plugs

-Inflatable Plugs

-Jeweled Plugs

-Training Plugs

-Prostate Massagers

-Anal Hooks

-Anal Beads

-Vibrating Plugs

This is by no means a comprehensive guide to anal toys, just a some of the most common materials, some general guidelines on how to keep them clean and some different types of anal toys you might find or want to explore.

The post Anal Toys appeared first on Free the Kink.

Let’s discuss some basics. This list is by no means comprehensive and you should defiantly do your homework but here are some definite points that you should think about and use.

First let’s talk Prep. Yes, there is or at least should be prep work:

1. Communication is always critical in anything in our lifestyle so it should go without saying, but. Talk with your partner about the scene. Discuss hard limits, coverage areas and so on. 

2. Safeword: Please make sure everyone knows the Safeword and everyone is comfortable using it and respecting it. 

3. Plan for the worst. Make sure the scene area is clean and free of anything that is not involved in the scene. No cloths or other flammable items should be on the table in which your set up is laid out. 

4. Your partner should shave if possible, wax and hair are not good friends. 

5. Test your candles on yourself and your partner before the scene even starts. Make sure everyone can handle the intensity. 

6. Never, ever leave burning candles unattended. 

7. Have fire extinguisher, water and first aid kit in the room. If you don’t have burn cream,  don’t play. 

Now Let’s Talk Candles, 

The most important thing to remember it all boils down to ingredients:

1. Soy Candles are regularly recommended for several reasons. #1 – they burn at a much lower temperature. At about 130F. #2 – Soy based candle wax cools much more rapidly reducing the risk of scarring or serious burning. #3 – Soy is a great product and is the least likely of all candles to contain irritants. 

2. Scented and paraffin candles will burn at about 135 degrees. The problem with many of these types of candles are the additives and chemicals you find in them. Do your homework and test these to make sure there is no negative reactions for your partner. 

3. Metallic Candles are never recommended. Many metallic salts can be poisonous as well as they burn hotter and could leave permanent scarring. 

4. Beeswax candles should also never be used according to the professionals. They burn at some of the highest temperatures at a starting point of 145F and up to 170F. That is hot enough to leave serious burns, blisters and permanent scarring. 

5. Avoid anything with Stearin in it. Stearin burns so hot it can and commonly does leave second degree burns. 

They make safety candles that are highly recommended for beginning play. 

Massage candles with special oils in them can also be very nice for wax play.

TIP: If you use massage candles and some safety candles, let it burn for 15-20 minutes to allow more even melting. 

Ok Let’s Talk Application:

1. You should drop wax not pour it. 

2. Hold the candle about 2-3 minimum away from your partner. 

3. Do not allow wax to pool in natural valleys of the body or places such as the belly button. 

4. NEVER allow wax into orafices of any kind. Wax is strictly an external pleasure. 

Far be it for me to tell anyone how to play, but please allow me to share my opinion on this one matter. Wax play can be so beautiful, just like the canvas you get the privilege of decorating. Make it fun for your partner and make it an art piece. Avoid large clumping and allow for natural dripping and running because it can make such beautiful results. Just my opinion.

TIP: Rotating your candle while it burns will keep it clean and even. 

TIP: Ice hardens candle wax. So you get to give the gift of dual pleasure a little cold to calm the fire. It also will aid in the clean up. 

Speaking of clean up candle wax is messy and can be a pain to clean up and can keep you finding little pieces of wax everywhere. Buying disposable sheets can be a great way to aid in clean up.

Don’t Forget the Aftercare: 

While we know that aftercare is always crucial when playing, it can be especially important for wax play. Including a rub down of your partner’s body with a nice moisturizing cream that includes Aloe Vera can really soothe the skin. I also found that creating your own blend Aloe Vera and burn cream can be really amazing as well.  

The post Let’s Turn the Heat Up in Here appeared first on Free the Kink.

First it’s important to know that a vagina can be intimidating. Even after seeing hundreds of them, a new one can still send nervous chills down your spine. After all, you’re trying to make a good impression here. It is also important to remember that according to some studies 75% of women do not reach orgasm from penetration alone. 

Now down to the goods:

1. Mindset. I know it may seem silly, but your mindset is important. You have to be confident and collected. If you’re nervous, how is she supposed to relax?

2. Take your time. It’s an all day buffet, so don’t rush it. Guys sometimes jump on in like it’s a chore that has to get done as soon as possible. This is not a race and the prize belongs to the tortoise in this story. 

3. Hit it all on your way down. Neck, tits, belly, all of it. 

4. Don’t touch right away. Now that your there, it’s time…to not touch yet. 

5. Skip the interrogation. You want her to relax completely. Don’t ask her questions, you don’t need that kind of verbal feedback. 

6. Start with your warm breath. Blow warm air over her vagina without touching it. 

7. Love the thighs. Kiss and lightly nibble her inner thighs. 

8. Go all the way down. Don’t forget the knees, especially the backs. This is typically a super sensitive area. If you like feet, give those toes a suck. 

9. Back up. Work your way back up to her vagina, hitting all the spots again. 

10. Blow her. Now… begin blowing your warm air again on her vagina. NOT inside of her just outside. 

11. Everywhere but there. Kiss all around her pussy without actually touching it. By now, she should be getting very excited. 

12. Now touch. With wet fingers spread her labias apart and begin kissing the outer labia. 

13. Lick it. Make your tongue flat and begin licking her labia from the bottom, working your way up. Then, return to the bottom using the tip of your tongue. 

14. Suck the lips. Take her inner lips gently in your mouth and begin to slowly and gently suck on them. 

15. Go inside. As you make your way down, enter her vagina with your tongue. Keeping your tongue flat and as stiff as possible, slowly moving in and out. Then, curl your tongue upwards and run your tongue along the top of the inner wall. 

**At this point, you will notice we have not touched her clit yet. (If you don’t know, the clit is the little man in the top of the boat.) After spending time on the above steps, it’s time to move into direct clit stimulation. (Some women have very sensitive clits and you will need to be aware of this. If they have an overly sensitive clit, you may actually cause pain or discomfort.) 

16. Expose the clit. Use a finger to gently push the hood up to reveal the clit.

17. Kiss it. With the clit exposed, gently put you mouth and lips on the clit. 

18. Suck it. Place your tongue under the clit while putting your mouth and lips around and above the clit. Begin an upward licking on the bottom of the clit, while lightly sucking to create a suction like feeling. 

19. The sidelines. The sides of the clit need attention too. Lick in a firm and smooth circular motion going around the clit. This typically provides a nice sensation. 

20. Harder. As you continue, pressure should gradually increase. 

21. Get it all. The art of cunnilingus involves the entire pussy, not just one part. Use circular motions and figure 8s. Don’t neglect the taint.

22. Use your fingers but gently. For added sensation, you can use your fingers in conjunction with your tongue. If your feeling like you’ve found your rhythm, go for the G. Insert two fingers, about roughly an inch or two, and make a come hither motion. Make sure your nails are trimmed and not jagged. 

23. Now here comes the tricky part. As I said earlier all vaginas are different and each one will have it’s perfect spot with the perfect pressure. Whether it be with your tongue alone or in combination with your fingers, use the signals that she gives, such as body movement, moans and other actions to find her spot. Once you get the right spot and she is on her way to climax, stay focused. Any change or interruption can really mess it up for a woman. You can be right there and even a slight change in pressure can keep her from that magical O. If this happens, just keep calm and keep going. Keep in mind what works and what doesn’t. 

24. We’re not finished. Just because “you” think she’s done, don’t stop. There is nothing worse than being right there and then not obtaining the O. Keep going, letting her and her body language tell you when she’s done. 

25. Eat and repeat. Remember that women can receive multiple orgasms and if you can take her there, do it. Trust me she will grab you by the hair or try and squish your head with her knees when she’s had enough. (I personally love when she’s quivering all over begging me to stop. That’s the best.) 

Remember that repeating steps is a good thing and please understand that this is a basic introduction and not an advanced “how to guide.” Take your time, discover what steps drive her wild and enjoy it. I love nothing more than dining at the y and I hope you will as well.

The post Dining at the Y appeared first on Free the Kink.

Dirty talk is something that I throughly enjoy. During a scene, my primal nature takes over and the words begin to flow out and for me, they are rough, dirty and may even come out as harsh. But it’s all part of the scene, part of the excitement and headspace I’m looking to create. 

Not many great passionate stories start with, “the room was totally silent”. Think about it. However, for some, dirty talk can be hard to utilize, especially when just getting started. It can be uncomfortable and even just sexy sensual talk can be hard to put together. So below are some tips that might help you get started and who knows? Next time you walk up to your partner and whisper something dirty in their ear, it may just get them all hot and bothered.

Building the Sexual Tension

Building sexual tension can play a huge role in creating more powerful and longer lasting orgasms for both male and female. Using dirty talk can be a great way to begin building the tension. You can use all types of naughty words or phrases delivered in various ways to tease or as foreplay.  “You’re going taste yourself off this cock later”. 

Setting a Specific Headspace 

Using the right words is critical to creating the specific headspace you’re shooting for. If you want to create a sense of sensuality, you would want use more sensual and gentle words with a more soft tone. “You are so sexy, I want you so bad right now”.  If you want to impress more obedience, you may want use more direct words that turn on your partner with a commanding tone. “On your knees you little sex slave and open that mouth”.

Control 

With the right words, in the right combination and with the right tone, you can leave your partner completely powerless and totally in your control. “You

better not cum without my permission slut”. 

Start Slow, Don’t Force It and Practice

If you’re new, don’t try to be the “porn star” of dirty talk. Take your time. Start by putting together 3-5 phrases that can be intertwined. Then practice the delivery. Make sure you are taking into consideration the time, tone, speed and the flow of your dirty talk.

Tailor To Your Partner’s Specific Tastes 

You know your partner and it’s important to take that into consideration. If your partner doesn’t like to be degraded, then calling them your “stupid little pig” may not be the right kind of dirty talk. If your partner isn’t turned on by “sweet” words, you may want to use more aggressive or direct language. You want your dirty talk to turn your partner on, so it is important to tailor it to your partner’s specific likes and avoid their dislikes. 

Tailor It To Your Specific Tastes

Using words you’re not comfortable with can leave your dirty talk sounding forced and that’s not sexy for anyone. If you don’t like cursing or vulgar language, then don’t use it. You can be nasty and dirty without it. “That little peach is dripping wet and I want to taste it”. It doesn’t have to be vulgar or aggressive, it just depends on what is best for you and your partner. You can be sexy and a little dirty while being less explicit. 

The Tone and Speed of Your Voice 

Tonality and the speed in which you deliver your message is as important as the word themselves. You can’t deliver a “bitch, on your knees” too quickly with a giggle and smile and expect it to have the right impact. Instead, whether your dirty talk is more explicit or sensual, you want to be calm, speak in a lower tone and very slowly. Go ahead and try it both ways, you will see the difference. 

It’s Not Just For Face to Face Interaction

Dirty talk can extend to all forms of communication effectively. Email, text or phone calls can be a great way to send a little dirty message to your partner. Just remember that in text or email, the seduction is better delivered in bite sizes and not one long paragraph. 

As always this is just a basic overview and everyone is different. But dirty talk in any form can make any encounter that much more seductive and enjoyable for everyone involved. 

The post Talk to Me Dirty appeared first on Free the Kink.

Lube is super important addition to all types of play, it can help prevent friction burn and prolong fun. But there are so many! How do you choose?Hopefully this will help next time you’re searching for that perfect one.

Water Based: 

Positive features

1. Condom safe 

2. Easy clean up 

3. Doesn’t stain 

4. Has a light, natural feel

5. Wide variety of types, flavors and scents

6. Typically good for oral, vaginal and anal

Negative features 

1. It absorbs quickly, so you have to continually reapply

2. It can have a sticky texture

3. It’s not water proof 

Silicone Based:

Positive features 

1. Long lasting 

2. Silky feeling, not sticky

3. Waterproof 

4. Condom safe 

5. Typically good for oral, vaginal and anal.

6. Doesn’t typically affect ph balance 

Negative features 

1. Hard to clean up 

2. Stains 

3. Cannot use on silicone or cyber skin toys

Oil Based 

Positive features 

1. Long lasting 

2. Great for fisting 

3. Good for anal

Negative features 

1. Not compatible with latex condoms 

2. Not good for many toys, as it can erode certain materials. 

3. Not recommended for vaginal use as it can lead to infection. 

4. Messy and hard to clean. 

Hybrid Lubricant 

Positive features 

1. As slippery as silicone

2. Waterproof 

3. Long lasting 

4. Latex friendly 

Negative features 

1. Not safe for silicone toys 

2. Not many options available 

Sterile Lubricants 

Positive features 

1. Safe for use with sounds, penis plugs and princes wands. 

2. Can be used with metal plugs and dildos

3. Kills germs 

4. Doesn’t harbor bacteria 

5. Doesn’t stain and is easy to clean. 

Negative features 

1. Absorbs quickly, so will need to constantly reapply

2. Not waterproof

Still having a hard time choosing well here is a little guide to help you:

Electro Sex – try a specialised electro sex gel. It has a higher salt content than standard lubricants for increased conductivity.

Vaginal Fisting – a silicone based or hybrid lubricant is a must.

Anal Fisting – an oil or silicone based lubricant will enhance your fisting fun.

Urethral Sounding – sterile water based lubricant is essential in this kind of play.

Vaginal Sex – water and silicone based lubricants will provide optimum glide and maximum pleasure for your playtime.

Anal Sex – we recommend a silicone or oil based lubricant, but remember not to use oil based formulas with condoms.

Oral Sex – water based is the best option for oral pleasure.

Masturbation – hybrid, water and silicone based are all great choices for your solo fun.

Sex Toys – water based is a safe bet for toys. Silicone based is also an option, but only if toys are not made from silicone or cyberskin.

Have fun and stay kinky

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